Step by Step
Friday, May 17, 2013
“He was drinking to hold on to his job, to hold on to his wife, to hold on to his sanity. Finally, he was drinking to keep away those little men, and those strange voices, and the organ music that came out of the walls.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 8, p 512.
Today, grant me the understanding that the reasons and excuses I used to justify drinking are now the reasons that I cannot drink. If I drank out of fear of losing a job, let me not drink to keep it; if I drank with uncertainty that I might lose a spouse or loved one, let me not drink to have a chance at salvaging the relationship; if I drank to stop for a while the hallucinations that were not real, let me not drink to extinguish them forever. The desperate excuses I used to drink can now, ironically, become the reasons not to drink. In the end, as the Big Book repeats time and again, I am only drying out and not sobering up if I hinge my recovery on something other than for myself. Today, I choose not to drink for myself and not to avoid a pending consequence; by becoming sober for myself, I am given greater strength and courage to deal effectively with whatever consequences of my alcoholism await me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M., 2013