After the Tears
Thursday, Oct. 2, 2014
“It would be wonderful were I able to tell you that my confidence in God and my application of the Twelve Steps to my daily living have utterly banished fear. This would not be the truth. The most accurate answer I can give you is this: Fear has never again ruled my life since that day …when I found that a Power greater than myself could not only restore me to sanity but could keep me both sober and sane. Never in 16 years have I dodged anything because I was afraid of it. I have faced life instead of running away from it.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), pp 284-85.
Today: fear of what? Of trying to be free of the uncertain but predictable consequences of drinking? Of trying the untested and unfamiliar path of sobriety? Of taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions when drunk, when sober? Of telling someone I’m sorry? Of admitting that I can’t do it alone anymore, that I need something better and stronger than myself? Of the risk of opening myself knowing that once the heart is open nothing will ever be the same? Afraid of facing fear? Afraid of what more fear will do to me? Today, if on nothing more than blind faith in something stronger and greater than myself, I confront my fears because I’ve empowered them far too long. In facing it, God granting, may I have control of my fears – not the other way around. And our common journey continues. After the tears. – Chris M., 2014